Another Crazy Weekend

This weekend was supposed to be my resting weekend. The weekend that made up for all the busy weekends we keep having. I did get quite a bit more sleep this time, but we still managed to pack a lot of stuff in.

We got up early to take my car in to replace a defective tire. This tire apparently was bad the day I bought my car, but my wife didn't tell me she saw a bubble in the side wall of the tire. 3 months later I notice the problem and the dealer, Cars 101 in Oxnard, won't step up. Never buy a car from them. This is only the latest in a series of hassles they heaped upon us. While I was getting my tire done, I thought it was time to try changing the air in my tires to Nitrogen. More on that later.

The tires were supposed to take about an hour, so we walked down the street to the Bed, Bath & Beyond, the Payless Shoes, and Target. We ended up picking something up from all three places. This made quite the trip when my son didn't want to make the walk back. Carrying him, some sodas, shoes, and whatever else we got turned out to be a bigger chore than we had hoped. The car was ready on time though, so we were pretty happy with that.

Next stop was supposed to be home, but it didn't work out. My wife reminded me of the Salsa Festival that was going on this weekend. I love spicy food, so this festival sounded pretty good to me. We ended up spending a couple hours there. I had a lot of fun. Learn more at Surfer J's Grub & Stuff: Oxnard Salsa Festival.

We ended up finally relaxing at around 4:30 last night. My wife had plans with my buddy's wife for lunch today, so I ended up watching the boy for a couple of hours. He still prefers Mommy, so this is sometimes easier said than done. He behaved very well today though. He threw one fit when Mommy left, and cried for about 15 minutes. After that, all was good. He ate most of his lunch, played well, and didn't throw any tantrums. I was pleased with how the day went.

My wife and son went down for a nap, so I am finally able to update my blogs. I had a really good weekend so far. I can't wait to go to the Salsa Festival again next year.

My Crazy Weekend

I think I have finally recovered enough from my weekend to talk about it. Things picked up speed pretty quickly and only just slowed down. Friday night I saw The Dark Knight. I posted a review on Surfer J's Reviews. This was such an intense movie. I could say more about it here, but this is gonna get long enough as it is. Check out my review (The Dark Knight ). This was only the beginning.

I had been planning my wife's surprise party for over a month. Saturday was the big day, almost exactly a month later than the actual event. She turned 30, so this needed to be a pretty good party. It is almost impossible to surprise my wife. Even when I manage to pull it off, she somehow guesses at the last minute. This is so consistent that I have to try extra hard each time to come up with something that she won't possibly guess. This meant I couldn't buy any supplies until the day of. I had a three hour window to pull it all together. My wife's close friends came over to serve as decoys, and one of them brought her husband with her. He had to get out at the Subway restaurant across the street from my house so my wife wouldn't see him. We had everything planned to the last detail. :)

My son decided it was time to throw an "I need a nap" tantrum seconds before our friend arrives to help. I was cleaning all morning. My wife commented on this to her friends when they arrived, but she still didn't catch on. She told them, "He even vacuumed." I don't vacuum. My wife is a Stay At Home Mom, so she usually has all the vacuuming done before I get home. This was the first time I turned on the vacuum. It feels really weird to say that. Moving on, she didn't know why I was cleaning all morning. I cleaned a little more when our friend arrived, and put him to work. A little cleaning and then babysitting a sleeping toddler were his duties. I had to run to Costco to get the cake.

I wasn't sure what to expect from the Costco cake. You go in, with at least 24 hours notice, fill out a sheet of paper and drop it in the slot. You then have faith that the cake will be ready at the time you indicated. My wife loves carrot cake, so I ordered a carrot cake. This cake is HUGE. $18.99 gets you a cake big enough to feed 48 people (in small pieces. A little less with bigger pieces). It came in at half the price the local bakery was going to charge me. The cake was worth it. I am still eating it.

So, cake in hand, it is time to get some more supplies from the grocery store. I ran into one of my friends at the grocery store. He had been buying flowers for my wife. I sent him to the Dollar Tree to pick up balloons and crate paper so we can decorate. He improvised and bought a birthday table cloth (paper). It turned out to be something we needed. We met back at my house, and had 30 minutes until my wife and her friends were due.

The boy woke up during the babysitting. He had already been upset that Mommy went somewhere, so I figured he might not like waking up to find out he was being babysat by a virtual stranger. They haven't seen each other in a long time. I knew how to get around this though. As I left I told our friend that if he wakes up, just turn on Star Wars. It worked like a charm. My son was very pleasant when I got back home. He had his Darth Vader fix.

I found out that my charcoal was a little wet, so I needed to babysit the coals for a bit. This left my friends to finish decorating without me. I got the coals lit, and only needed to re-light them twice.

I grilled up a tri-tip, using a great Guinness Tri-Tip Marinade recipe. My wife came up with the basics, and I made my own version of it for her party. We made some fresh salsa and guacamole, deep fried some flour tortillas to use as chips, and made tacos out of the tri-tip.

My friend bought some noisemakers and distributed them. My wife's friend kept us updated through subtle text messages and seemingly random phone calls to her husband. My son loved the noisemakers, and almost gave the surprise away. He was blowing the "horn" as she was walking up. We got him to quiet down and sent him to open the door. This is not uncommon, so when we shouted surprise and blew the noisemakers, she was taken aback. The surprise worked. She had no clue that we had all conspired to throw the party.

The food and company were great. We had a lot of fun.

Our weekend took a more serious turn with news of an impending divorce among a couple of our friends. This put a dark cloud on the rest of the weekend, and needless to stay it is still hanging around.

We went to the 3rd Annual Pirate Festival in Ventura on Sunday afternoon. My son was in a weird mood, so we didn't stay long. He loves pirates, boats, water, and parrots. He got to see all of it. We watched a guy swallow a sword, walked around a bit, and finally left. There were tons of people around but not much to do. It was still worth checking out, so I am glad we did.

All in all, the weekend provided an intense emotional roller-coaster. Batman is pretty intense. The birthday party brought us up pretty high, and the news from our friends sent us plunging pretty low. We are hoping to plateau for a while. We need to recover a bit.

Quick Update

I had an incredibly busy weekend. Be sure to check back for news on my wife's surprise birthday party, the 3rd Annual Pirate Festival, and more. I posted a review on The Dark Knight. Check it out on my blog, Surfer J's Reviews. I posted a new Guinness Tri-Tip Marinade Recipe at Surfer J's Grub & Stuff. Be sure to check it out.

Poll Results

I know all of you are anxiously awaiting the results of my poll. For those of you who don't know what I am talking about, refer to my post, Rude Neighbors for the background story.

Here is the poll question: "At What Time Of Night Is It Time To Call The Police For Your Neighbor's Loud Music's Bass Beat Thumping Your Walls?"

It seems that most of you would be ready to put an end to rude neighbors pretty early on. 10:00 p.m. held the majority vote. Only 1 said it was never okay. I think I am more inclined toward 1:00 am. I have been far more patient than this in practice though. The homeowner's association president may not be so gracious the next time it happens though. Hopefully not.

On a plus note, the neighbors have been laying low since the last incident. I have barely heard a peep out of them. I think they must have received their written warning. My wife was snubbed at the mailbox today, so something must have happened.

Well, without further ado, here are the poll results:

At What Time Of Night Is It Time To Call The Police For Your Neighbor's Loud Music's Bass Beat Thumping Your Walls?
9:30 pm	1 (6%)
10:00 pm	5 (31%)
11:00 pm	4 (25%)
1:00 am	3 (18%)
2:00 am	2 (12%)
Never	1 (6%)

Rude Neighbors

My neighbor's incessant need to make us listen to Janet Jackson all night is getting out of hand. I am sure I might enjoy the music better if I was right in front of the speakers rather than being pummeled by the sound waves reverberating through our walls. Tonight they had the audacity to compare the occasional crying of my two year old with the 24-hour Bass-fest at their house.

What is it that makes a person force another person to listen to their music? What makes someone think it not only okay to blast music at all hours of the night, but then to attack the neighbor who politely asks them to turn it down?

I get up between 5:00 and 5:30 every morning to get ready for work. I usually go to bed between 11:00 pm and 1:00 am. Usually it is so I can get all my entrecard clicks in and hopefully a post or two. There have been nights when the thumping continued well after 2:00 am - on a Wednesday. This is not a Friday or Saturday, or even a Sunday night party. This is just a middle of the week, "Let's see how rude I can be tonight" type of game. Even people who don't sleep much do in fact need sleep. My two year old certainly needs sleep, as does my pregnant wife.

In college we had to sit through "Basic Human Respect (BHR)" lectures from our Resident Advisors at least once a semester. This was where they explained to us college-folk that we need to be mindful of our neighbors. Some of my roomates and suite-mates needed this lesson more often than others. Some learned something from these talks, and maybe they still practice those lessons. Others either didn't get it or outright ignored it. How much worse is it when someone has never had it brought to their attention that other people don't like their music?

I feel that this is an unfortunate side effect of the society we have allowed to become the norm. This "I am the only person who matters" type of attitude is prevalent in all stages of our society. Politicians have it the worst, and low to lower middle class people are next in line. I consider myself to be in an upper- lower class level, yet I am mindful of how late it is when I want to crank my surround sound. What makes one person courteous and the other rude?

Once could say that it is upbringing. Kids whose parents either disrespected all their neighbors or failed to teach respect altogether are highly inclined to exhibit poor behavior in a group setting. What's worse, is when the only person making the noise has that gall to be upset when all the other quiet neighbors politely ask them to be respectful. I am curious about how you all feel about the matter. I placed a poll in the column on the right. Please take a second to click your choice. At what time is it okay to call the police for a neighbor's bass (or any other loud sounds)? 9:00 pm, 10:00 pm, 1:00 am? My wife was pretty upset tonight, so I would like to show her that others feel the same way she does. I appreciate your votes on the subject.

When something so simple as paying attention to your bass levels at 2:00 am is this difficult to grasp, I fear for our future. With everybody out for themselves, how do we live in harmony? I wonder if we can.

Orange County Fun

My wife's birthday fell on a Wednesday this year, so I took Monday and Tuesday off to celebrate. The last couple years we have gone to see a show in Hollywood. First Les Miserables, and then Wicked. This year Wicked is still on stage, and I hadn't intended to set a precedent by going two years in a row to the Pantages.

This year I had to do something different. I decided to take her to Medieval Times. She is pretty hard to surprise, so I couldn't order the tickets until Saturday night. She had told me months ago that she wanted to go, so I figured enough time had passed to pull off the surprise.

When we lived right down the street from my parents it was a lot easier to pull of a surprise of this nature. Living a couple hours away now, I have to coordinate babysitting needs with my parents. When they arrived for the golf tournament Saturday they were prepared to take him home. I hadn't anticipated my parents babysitting my son the weekend prior, so it was a little hard to give him up again so soon. I knew it would be only for a day though, so that helped.

We went to Medieval Times, and the hotel I picked happened to be right across the street. That was a fortunate turn of events. We were able to walk and didn't have to worry about the parking situation. We stayed at a Marriott Courtyard, and that was an experience in and of itself. The show was pretty good, and the food was great. The only downside was when a horse kicked up a mixture of sand and manure during the joust, and it landed in our drinks. I would suggest covering your cups during the joust if you are sitting in the front row.

Since we were in Orange County already, I figured Disneyland would be a great place to pick up my son. Disneyland is roughly the same distance from my house as it is from my parents' house. It is slightly further than halfway between our houses, but it still works as a meeting spot. My son loves Disneyland, as do I. He had just been there the week before when he stayed with my parents, so it was fresh on his mind.

The only problem with the day was the unexpected heat. I wore jeans and my vans. Big mistake. Next trip to Disneyland I will be in shorts and flip-flops. I don't care if it is cold. I hate being hot. I have gotten so used to living and working near the beach that the heat gets to me faster than it used to. One would think I hadn't grown up near Palm Springs.

All in all we had a pretty good time. We got some alone time, got to see a good show, and were able to use our season passes at Disneyland before the July blackout.

Back From Vacation

These last few days have been pretty crazy. Saturday I participated in a fundraiser golf tournament with my dad, grandpa, and uncle. We treated it as a Father's Day activity for all of us. Sunday was Father's Day, and we grilled tri-tip for my dad. My parents took my son home with them so I could take my wife out for her birthday. Her birthday is today, by the way, so be sure to leave a comment on her blog. Look under "Blogs I Read" and click on Kate's Blog. Or, I suppose I could make it easier and send you there with a link. Monday I drove my wife to Buena Park so we could go to Medieval Times. The hotel I chose happened to be literally across the street, so that worked out well. Tuesday it was time to pick up my son, so what better place than Disneyland for the pick up? We spent most of a VERY hot Tuesday with my mom at Disneyland. Today it is back to work, and tons of blogging to do...probably tomorrow as today is my wife's birthday. For my daily readers, thanks for sticking around through my vacation. I will let you know next time I plan to be out. Have a great day everyone.

Fatherhood

I have been thinking a lot about relationships lately, specifically family relationships. Now that my second child is due to be born this year I find my family in a state of expansion. I think about the day to day activities of my son, and look forward to similar experiences with my second son. I have wondered how many of the things my son does are also things I did at his age. Did I throw the same tantrums? Did I do the same cute things? Was I so full of unquestioning love? From what I gather from my parents there are indeed similarities.

As I look at my son through a father's eyes, I think back to my own relationship with my dad. I remember being so proud to be his son. I remember riding in the child seat attached to his bicycle. I remember being held on his shoulders from time to time. I remember him being capable of solving any problem that was thrown at him, whether mechanical, spiritual, automotive, or technical. I remember the love he had/has for my mother and my brother and sisters and myself. I wonder if my son will remember the same things about me.

I remember my dad's old guitar quite well. So well in fact that it now sits in my own home. I wonder how he had the time to play music at all with five children running around. My one son is more than a handful sometimes.

I was thinking about my transition from son to father the other day, especially with Father's Day around the corner. I wondered what it felt like for my dad when I grew up. One day he has a house full of children and the next we are all grown. How does he see me now? Does he still see the same little boy that I see everyday when I look at my own son? What must it be like to not have that same connection?

This is a question I know I will have the answer to all too soon. My little boy is growing up. He is only two right now, but these two years have gone by so quickly. I know my time with him is short. I hope to be able to teach him the things my dad taught me. I hope to teach him to be a man after his grandfather's heart - a man after his great-grandfather's heart. A man with a heart constantly reaching out to God for strength, guidance, and sustenance.

What a privilege it is to be a father - a daddy. What an amazing opportunity and responsibility. It is an incredible thing to teach a young boy the things he needs to know. I hope that I can be the example he needs me to be. I hope he will choose to learn from me the things I want him to know. It is a hard thing to be at the mercy of one's own child. I want so many good things for him, yet I know that he has to reach out and take these good things himself. He has just as much power to reject the good things I want for him. This is a terrifying prospect sometimes.

I know the day is coming when I have to trust my son(s) to the same (if not greater) extent that I expect my own dad to trust me. I know that we will not always see things eye to eye. I certainly have disagreements with my dad, and I am sure he had disagreements with his dad. I do hope that the relationship I have with my own dad will prove to be a framework for the relationship with my children.

I get to spend part of this Father's Day weekend with my dad, grandpa, and uncle. We are playing in a golf tournament on Saturday. This should be fun. We get to play at the Country Club in Malibu. I wish my dad's father was still around to join us. I think of him often as I muse about fatherhood.

I am proud of the legacy my grandfather passed on to me, both directly and indirectly. I hope my sons continue to improve upon the legacy and pass it on to their sons (and daughters if they have them). I am grateful to be a son to a wonderful father. I am grateful to be a father to my son and my as-yet unborn son. I have been truly blessed.

The No Microwave Challenge

When my wife and I moved to Ventura County last October, we decided to leave an old friend behind - our microwave. I know you are thinking, "how can one live without a microwave?" My answer to that would be, "quite well."

We are finding that there is no quick reheating to be done in our house. Something has to go in the toaster oven, the oven, or on the stove. I don't know that we are gaining any health benefits, but I thought it would be worth a shot.

Growing up as microwaves were first hitting their stride, it is an odd thing to not have a microwave. It took a little adjusting, but for the most part we are in good spirits. To be fair, my wife has made more of a sacrifice than I have on this point. I have a microwave in the break room at work, so I am not wholly weaned off of microwaves. She stays at home with the boy, so she has no choice but to be microwave-free.

We are not exactly known for our "Green" lifestyle, so don't write this off as evidence that we are environmental wackos. We don't even believe in the farce of "Global Warming." I had heard some things growing up about cancer and microwaves, and more recently my mom was talking about microwaves altering food chemically. I don't necessarily buy into all that hype, but nonetheless, we are sans microwave.

I really don't miss it that much. Again, remember that I am using one at work. I do have to deal with it in the mornings, at night, and on weekends and holidays, though, so I think I am still qualified to make the call. We will see how long this experiment can last. I am hoping it can last for at least a few more years.

To Shave or Not to Shave

Shortly after my son was born my sideburns and goatee slowly merged into a beard. I had a relatively new marriage, a new baby, and I guess somehow a beard got attached to my new responsibilities. My grandpa had a beard, my dad has a beard, and my uncle has one from time to time. It was a fairly natural progression.

About a year goes by when my wife starts to bug me about shaving my beard. I tell her that I look better with the beard, but she won't believe me. She threatened to cut her hair which I had to painstakingly convince her to grow in the first place. I argued that it was not an equitable trade. Beards on men and long hair on women have traditionally been linked to gender identity. To threaten to cut her hair, thereby removing one of her gender identifiers didn't make sense, as shaving my beard would be removing my one of my gender identifiers. This argument didn't go too far with her, and so the nagging continued.

So, now that we are expecting our second child, and having decided to honor her request, I shaved my beard. I planned it out perfectly, in order to surprise her when she least expected it. I waited until a morning where she had done all her prep work for my departure in advance, and would not be waking up with me.

The morning finally came, and I shaved the beard down to the sideburns, which I have had as long as I have been capable of growing facial hair. I go to work, get the usual comments from my friends, and explain to them that my wife wanted it shaved. I waited all day to tell my wife.

I got home and my son greeted me cheerfully. My wife looked at me with a funny look on her face. She just kept on staring. It was apparent that my surprise had not only worked, but that I was right in keeping my beard as long as I did. Sure enough she told me to grow it back, as I am not nearly as handsome as I once was. ;) Now I get to grow it back, just in time for a hot summer.

Public Relations/Customer Service

"Public Relations is a set of management, supervisory, and technical functions that foster an organization's ability to strategically listen to, appreciate, and respond to those persons whose mutually beneficial relationships with the organization are necessary if it is to achieve its missions and values." (Robert L. Heath, Encyclopedia of Public Relations). Essentially it is a management function that focuses on two-way communication and fostering of mutually beneficial relationships between an organization and its publics."
Source: Wikipedia

I have been thinking about Public Relations (PR) and Customer Service a lot lately, especially since beginning a new job last September. As a Web Developer, I am pretty deeply entrenched in the PR engine of my place of employment. Technically I am in IT, so we interact with the "official" PR department from corporate. Most of the people in this department have done a good job representing the company. One person, who fortunately is no longer employed, had no clue about PR.

I will call attention to the last line of the above quote. "Essentially it is a management function that focuses on two-way communication and fostering of mutually beneficial relationships between an organization and its publics." I highlighted two sections that are completely unknown to this person. This person decided that it was their way or the highway, and had no tact, even in front of an on-duty U.S. Marshall.

The sad thing is that this person is not an anomaly. Every time I call some sort of customer service rep, which I count as a qualified PR member, I run into someone like the person I described above. There is a general sense of dismissal and lack of empathy that radiates heavily from these people. Does this say something bad about society, or the companies who employ them?

To be fair, occasionally someone up the chain from these horrible representatives does have a clue as to their job description. I think that genuine, empathetic, caring, intelligent people do work in PR. I just wish they were easier to find.