Rude Neighbors

My neighbor's incessant need to make us listen to Janet Jackson all night is getting out of hand. I am sure I might enjoy the music better if I was right in front of the speakers rather than being pummeled by the sound waves reverberating through our walls. Tonight they had the audacity to compare the occasional crying of my two year old with the 24-hour Bass-fest at their house.

What is it that makes a person force another person to listen to their music? What makes someone think it not only okay to blast music at all hours of the night, but then to attack the neighbor who politely asks them to turn it down?

I get up between 5:00 and 5:30 every morning to get ready for work. I usually go to bed between 11:00 pm and 1:00 am. Usually it is so I can get all my entrecard clicks in and hopefully a post or two. There have been nights when the thumping continued well after 2:00 am - on a Wednesday. This is not a Friday or Saturday, or even a Sunday night party. This is just a middle of the week, "Let's see how rude I can be tonight" type of game. Even people who don't sleep much do in fact need sleep. My two year old certainly needs sleep, as does my pregnant wife.

In college we had to sit through "Basic Human Respect (BHR)" lectures from our Resident Advisors at least once a semester. This was where they explained to us college-folk that we need to be mindful of our neighbors. Some of my roomates and suite-mates needed this lesson more often than others. Some learned something from these talks, and maybe they still practice those lessons. Others either didn't get it or outright ignored it. How much worse is it when someone has never had it brought to their attention that other people don't like their music?

I feel that this is an unfortunate side effect of the society we have allowed to become the norm. This "I am the only person who matters" type of attitude is prevalent in all stages of our society. Politicians have it the worst, and low to lower middle class people are next in line. I consider myself to be in an upper- lower class level, yet I am mindful of how late it is when I want to crank my surround sound. What makes one person courteous and the other rude?

Once could say that it is upbringing. Kids whose parents either disrespected all their neighbors or failed to teach respect altogether are highly inclined to exhibit poor behavior in a group setting. What's worse, is when the only person making the noise has that gall to be upset when all the other quiet neighbors politely ask them to be respectful. I am curious about how you all feel about the matter. I placed a poll in the column on the right. Please take a second to click your choice. At what time is it okay to call the police for a neighbor's bass (or any other loud sounds)? 9:00 pm, 10:00 pm, 1:00 am? My wife was pretty upset tonight, so I would like to show her that others feel the same way she does. I appreciate your votes on the subject.

When something so simple as paying attention to your bass levels at 2:00 am is this difficult to grasp, I fear for our future. With everybody out for themselves, how do we live in harmony? I wonder if we can.

Husband and Father

In today's society is it possible to assume a father is a husband? A reader asked the question as to whether or not a husband and a father are the same thing. I think there was a time that it was indeed the case. Not that every husband was a father, but most fathers were husbands. I wonder what the ratio is today.

I think there are too few fathers today who are also husbands. One has but to look at the crime rates in the inner cities to see the effect of this circumstance. Young men need their fathers to be in their home, in a committed relationship with their mothers, or at least their spouse. The homes that produce many of today's criminals are ones that typically did not have a father in them. This is not to say all fathers are good fathers, or that all criminals come from bad homes.

Crime is not the only outcome of a fatherless home. Sometimes the effects are not as easy to see. Look at the confidence level of a young man without a father and you will see what I am talking about. It may be masked, but there is an insecurity built in to many boys who grew up this way.

Unfortunately there are homes with single fathers, though they are not as widely talked about. Other times a man has paid the ultimate price in service to his country. There are many circumstances in which it is impossible to avoid the absence of a father. It is still possible to raise a strong, confident son in these cases, but it is a much more difficult task.

If you are a husband and a father, I commend you. If you are a father and have not yet married the mother of your children, I would recommend you remedy the situation. We need to return to the place where father's cared enough about their kids to stick around. We need to accept the fact that the traditional family structure is the strongest.

I am a husband and a father. My father was the same, as was his father. I hope that my son(s) will be the same. Our society could use more fathers.